test drive

[ragetoriches]

[ who knew that the afterlife would be a white-stark waiting room? not just a waiting room, but a string of waiting rooms with two unmarked double doors on either side of the receptionist's desk, left with a green light and right with a red light, both leading to another white-stark waiting room with two more unmarked double doors with a red or green light that lead to more white-stark waiting rooms, ad infinitum. to keep the line moving, reception will say - there are a lot of factors to judge one's soul and thank you for your patience, reception will say. nothing in the rooms themselves but rows of chairs lining the wall for you to sit and wait with every other newly-dead or just-dead or long-dead or forever-dead soul here, some are processed faster than others and maybe this is your first room or your second room or your thirteenth room or your seven thousandth room, it seems there's no rhyme or reason to which door leads to where because the occupants in each room seem just as mixed in every which way as the last room does.

the guy sitting next to you with his hands shoved comfortably in modern jacket pockets and his posture dripping in a languid sort of been-here-so-long-I-slept-in-this-chair attitude speaks up, abruptly breaking the deathly silence. ]

Which one you think you in for, left or right?

Comments

[willnotwatch]

[why would you say that cousin absolutely jerks his head up and just shakes]

[ragetoriches]

[ I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COMFORT YOU

lifts an eyebrow, really he just doesn't know how to interact with this entire situation and being brusque is his go-to and he doesn't know what to do ]

. . . Uh.

[ like a dog that's absolutely been spray bottled about this before - or rather a cat, you know. ]

. . . . . Sorry.

[willnotwatch]

...

[he drops his gaze again, into his lap, trying to relax, letting go of his knees and his poor crumpled trousers and just staring into his own palms. it's a few minutes before he actually speaks again, trying to tease apart the situation in his head.

honestly, it's not too far from his desperate, childish fantasies, the ones that came to him in panicked bursts in his sleep after Erik's death. did he dream up this N'Jadaka in front of him, the one who came home and tumbled through all walks of life with him, the one who was found and loved and cherished, the one who might have even ruled by his side?]

... were we close?

[ragetoriches]

Nah, I mean, we kinda get along but mostly we both like Shuri and that's about it. Made a blood pact to punch the other if either one of us leaves her alone an' all but aside from that, can't say we were.

[willnotwatch]

...

[glancing up to see if he can read N'Jadaka's expression before he looks away again] I see. That's a shame.

[ragetoriches]

Ain't it though?

[ with a beat, and a light sort of teasing tone, like, it was a joke but i'm not going to tell you it's one i'm just going to make you figure it out ]

T.

[willnotwatch]

[he manages a smile, but it's bittersweet, full of the taste of could-have-beens and what-couldn't-bes, and he shakes his head lightly in disbelief]

[ragetoriches]

[ continuing on ]

But hey, what you expect? I can't compete with baby cuz or Nakia or Auntie.

[ with a little shrug ]

So I get to be fourth place.

[ that's not exactly "not close" ]

[willnotwatch]

[he's stopped leaking, at least. sitting back, making eye contact again, expression gentle and accepting]

I don't recall ever ranking my personal relationships so clearly.

[ragetoriches]

You don't. But see, we all fight each other in ritual combat for your affection an' Shuri kicks my ass, every time.

[willnotwatch]

[fine, you get a genuine smile]

Ah. That seems like the logical outcome.

[ragetoriches]

[ score one for Erik ]

So, fourth place.

[willnotwatch]

[he just keeps staring, with his dumb soft eyes, doing that thing again where he's wrapping his arms around himself because he wants to reach out and touch, but he knows he shouldn't]

[ragetoriches]

[ mmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmm ]

. . . . Shit, man.

[ all of his feelings are bad but he's pulling hands out of his pockets to gesture, he knows what t'challas want when they make that face and gesture ]

Y'look like a damn puppy. You wanna hug or somethin'?

[willnotwatch]

[that startles a laugh out of him, and he might even be flushing a bit darker than usual, biting down on a smile]

I would like that, yes.

[ragetoriches]

Well get over here then, we only got an eternity in hell here.

[willnotwatch]

[this shouldn't be so awkward, but it is.

he hesitates, looking N'Jadaka over before standing, and then when he walks it's this stilted, tense shuffle, arms held tightly at his sides. when he gets close instead of holding his arms out he just... plunks his head against N'Jadaka's shoulder, shivering]

[ragetoriches]

[ big BABY

letting him do that, moving his hand up to pat his back. it's kind of a hug ]

[willnotwatch]

[going to grab N'Jadaka's shirt lapels ig as he just smushes his face into him, just twisting his fingers into them, in fact like a baby]

[ragetoriches]

[ with a sort of wry huff ]

Damn. Who babysitted your ass without me around, Nakia?

[willnotwatch]

[yes.]

... [he pulls back, but keeps his hands on N'Jadaka's clothes] I'm not the one who needs to be kept in line.

[ragetoriches]

[ just kind of rolls his eyes and shrugs ]

Yeah, I mean I guess.

[ basically admitting to being the rowdy boy here but listen ]

[willnotwatch]

[he... really doesn't want to let go. after a long moment of contemplative staring he leans in again, bumping his forehead up against N'Jadaka's with a sigh, slipping his eyes shut]

... How did you die?

[ragetoriches]

[ leans in, bumps like he's used to it ]

. . . Died protectin' a stupid cousin'a mine.

[ but it's said with pride, like he doesn't regret it ]

So Wakanda could keep goin' on with their King. Guess they still are.

[willnotwatch]

[that hurts. that hurts??? THAT HURTS.

he makes a hurt noise, in fact, a low, soft, choked sound in the back of his throat, trembling.]