test drive

[ragetoriches]

[ who knew that the afterlife would be a white-stark waiting room? not just a waiting room, but a string of waiting rooms with two unmarked double doors on either side of the receptionist's desk, left with a green light and right with a red light, both leading to another white-stark waiting room with two more unmarked double doors with a red or green light that lead to more white-stark waiting rooms, ad infinitum. to keep the line moving, reception will say - there are a lot of factors to judge one's soul and thank you for your patience, reception will say. nothing in the rooms themselves but rows of chairs lining the wall for you to sit and wait with every other newly-dead or just-dead or long-dead or forever-dead soul here, some are processed faster than others and maybe this is your first room or your second room or your thirteenth room or your seven thousandth room, it seems there's no rhyme or reason to which door leads to where because the occupants in each room seem just as mixed in every which way as the last room does.

the guy sitting next to you with his hands shoved comfortably in modern jacket pockets and his posture dripping in a languid sort of been-here-so-long-I-slept-in-this-chair attitude speaks up, abruptly breaking the deathly silence. ]

Which one you think you in for, left or right?

Comments

[willnotwatch]

[honestly this guy just woke up and is covered?? in?? sand? glancing over as he catches his breath,]

...

N... Erik?

[ragetoriches]

[ wow that doesn't look fun

without moving even an inch, maybe even doubling down on looking relaxed ]

Hey, T.

[willnotwatch]

... I'm sorry, what did you just call me?

[ragetoriches]

Oooh, not a big fan of nicknames, your highness? Sorry 'bout that.

[willnotwatch]

[tilting his head at the increased dreads wait a minute]

... no ... it's fine. [it just wasn't said in a derogatory tone?? wtf??]

[ragetoriches]

[ hm. tilting his head too, watching his reaction; his tone is still entirely casual, light, and he's easing himself up on the chair. ]

You look like you seen a ghost.

[ jokes! ]

[willnotwatch]

[yeah not a funny joke he immediately looks like he was punched in the face with a guilt-shaped brick]

...

[getting up from the random sand-pit on the ground that is disappearing quick I guess and coming up close, cautious]

[morethanyou]

[this... was not the ancestral vision Shuri was expecting. she stares at him warily]

Excuse me?

[ragetoriches]

[ woof. there's a look of hurt that flicks through his face but it smoothes out, tone light ]

Didn't expect to see my baby cuz here. 'Sup?

[morethanyou]

...honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I'm lost.

[ragetoriches]

You consider askin' for directions?

[morethanyou]

[taking refuge in flippancy]

Have you seen any ancestors around here lately?

[ragetoriches]

Oh yeah, you missed the ancestral plane. Two doors behind you an' a right.

[ with a brusque tone, like - if he knew, he wouldn't be here, now would he? he's stretching in his place, giving a little shrug; notably, even though he is straight up just erik, his dreads are longer, bundled back together so it's difficult to tell the length but it isn't difficult to tell that the undercut isn't as prominent ]

This place's for the ones who don't got no place to go. Ain't for you, baby cuz.

[morethanyou]

[narrows her eyes, not in a hostile way, just. something's... off...]

Is that what you're calling me now?

[aintrunning]

[boom, headshot! . . . look, there is only one right way to deal with doppelgangers]

[ragetoriches]

[ I mean that is true but then that's also the most ineffectual way to deal with doppelgangers?

the bullet goes straight through his forehead, head knocking back from the blow - and then his hand shoots up to grab Erik by the neck, clothes breaking away as the suit starts manifesting, a familiar gold and black. he lifts his head, teeth bare, but his tone is all casual. ]

Damn. Don't got no manners, do you? Now who's gonna clean that up?

[aintrunning]

[immediately going to try to break the hold while also shifting his suit on as well, not responding to the taunt. whether he breaks free or not, absolutely going to start hammering on n'jadaka]

[ragetoriches]

[ drawing his leg up to kick him off his chair, there is also punching here. this is a great way to meet a new friend ]

[artificialinelegance]

[ oh cool at least the afterlife doesn't require me to talk like I hate myself

anyways there's like eight bullet holes in her back ]

Ain't got no clue! Didn't ever think I'd end up here. Guess right's probably the bad one, right? Imma go with that.

[ragetoriches]

Right, huh? I'mma need some citations on your reasonin'.

[artificialinelegance]

Hey, don't go gettin' all academic and shit on me here. I dropped outta high school, y'know? Anyway, I guess, like...man, what afterlife even is this? I ain't read nothin' about some hospital-ass shit like this. If right's the shithole, it's where I'm goin' on account of all the murders I was complicit in, y'know how it goes.

[ragetoriches]

[ giving her a onceover but his hand is already out of his pocket, doing some hand-ass shit at her ]

Naw naw naw, sis. You ain't no angel, sure - but what I'm meanin' is, how you figure right's the shithole?

[artificialinelegance]

Uh, it's red?

[ragetoriches]

Figured. See, that's where you ain't thinkin' right, the color's got you all tripped up, everyone thinks red's the bad color an' green's the good color. But the right hand'a the Father's where all the lambs go, left the sinners, in accordance to the Christian Bible. You still thinkin' right's the shithole?

[artificialinelegance]

Then why they even got colors? I thought God was suppose t'knock it off with all that test'a faith nonsense once you ate shit n' died.